Tumpang Gembiraa...

I called one of my closest friends just now.
Just to say hello.
I haven’t seen her for quite some time now.
Kinda missed her.

Borak punya borak dia tiba-tiba sebut tentang satu perkara…
Yang aku tak sangka gila…
I was…..astonished!









“I’m getting married…” she said.

A moment of silence.
…
…
…

“I’m sorry, what?

“Aku tengah prepare nak kahwin ni..” she said again.

“What? Betul ke? Dengan siapa? Bila?”


She than explained and story everything about what happening to her life right now.
Turn out it was kinda arranged marriage. But she is totally fine with it. Dia cakap inilah jodoh.



Wow! (masih lagi terkejut)



After sometime I asked her back..

“Kau sukalah kat dia?”

“Suka!. Dia sangat matang dan berkarisma.Masa fisrt time jumpa dia aku rasa macam kitaorang dah kenal lama…”


Borak-borak, cerita-cerita lagi pasal dia...


“So this is it? You are sure that he’s the one? That he’s your soul mate?”


Tanpa sebarang rasa ragu-ragu dia jawab..

“Ha’ah. I’m sure.”

Wow!
…
…
…
…
...
...

Wow
…
…
…
…
…
...
...
...

I mean….wow!






I still can’t believe it!








I know she deserves it.
She had been through all kind of pain and suffering.
Her father passed away on the year of her SPM exam.
Her younger brother died of a road accident.
She had lost her older brother on the hectic time of Thesis.
Her older sister moved away from home never to have any connection with her and her whole family because her family thinks she married the wrong man.
And having the hardest thing to do is when she has to let go of her dream of becoming a lecturer because she had to come home and take care of her sick mother.


Mulianya hati kau.
Semulia nama kau.
Suci, Sacred.
That’s what you are.


Bijak tindakan kau meninggalkan impianmu menjadi seorang Pensyarah. (or so-called)
Sebab aku tahu kau susah nak survive kat situ.
Kat tempat kita belajar dulu.
Dengan ‘politik jabatan’ yang macam haram tu.
Kau dan aku sama-sama tak punya kipas atau air-cond untuk mengipas Orang Atasan di jabatan kita itu.
Biarlah Dia-Itu terjun dengan labu-labunya…



Trust me my dear,
You made the right choice leaving The Department.
Otherwise you wouldn’t meet you Mr. Future Husband kan?
I’m so happy for you dear.
I really do.

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed...

People said good times should be shared…
I say …true…

But what about sad, unhappy times?
Would you stick around your friends if they got problems?
Would you be the shoulder to cry on?















I would…
And I did…














But looking back when I was in the Alma meter, I would consider myself as not having many close friend that I can turn to if I got problems. Should that be a problem? Entahla…

I guess it’s me that not very comfortable sharing my problem with my friends…
It’s not them….they did offer to help…ye ke?…

I think there’s only one person that I never could lie to her. She will knew everytime if I got problems or not… I consider her as my best friend…I didn’t know if she ever felt the way I do.... Thanks Bumblebee… you know who you are…

Bumblebee was my roommate back in matric. Actually she lives next to my room when I was in my first year in matric. We choose to be roommate when we were in second year. I was known to her and all her roommates as ‘budak tak mau senyum’…well my facial expression does look garang sometimes…(ok all the time…that’s what people said la..for me its my natural look..heh)…

Jadi, pada suatu hari yang cerah, aku yang dalam perjalanan nak pergi tandas terserempaklah dengan si Bumblebee ni… agaknya moodku baik hari itu, jadi aku pun senyumlah kat minah Bumblebee ni.
Rupa-rupanya sampai jer kat dalam bilik si Bumblebee ni cerita kat satu bilik…

“weh korang tau tak..tadi budak sebelah tu senyum kat aku ..”
“ye ke? Serius? Mood dia baiklah tu..”

So, since that very day, aku pun berkawan baik dengan seluruh roommate Bumblebee itu…
Sampailah sekarang...




So people, smile a lot..
A smile can brighten up your day…


Senyum seindah suria
Yang membawa cahaya
Senyumlah dari hati
Duniamu berseri

Senyum umpama titian
Dalam kehidupan
Kau tersenyum ku tersenyum
Kemesraan menguntum…

Senyum seindah suria
Yang membawa cahya
Senyumlah dari hati
Duniamu berseri

Senyum umpama titian
Dalam kehidupan
Kau tersenyum ku tersenyum
Kemesraan menguntum

Senyum... kepada semua
Senyumanmu amatlah berharga
Senyum... membahagiakan
Dengan senyuman terjalinlah
Ikatan...

Sambutan Jubli Perak...

Tanggal bulan 9 hadapan,
Maka bertambahlah umur aku ini…


Buat pertama kalinya seumur hidupku ini..
Hari lahirku jatuh pada bulan Ramadhan….
Awal-awal Ramadhan pula…
Dulu selalu kasihan pada orang yang menyambut birthday pada bulan puasa…


Tak best nye…tak boleh celebrate di siang hari…
Dah buka puasa baru boleh sambut…
Alaaaaa…………


Dah nak suku abad rupanya umurku ini….
Serasa baru semalam aku pergi sekolah….
Bangun pagi-pagi Mak yang kejut…
Pergi sekolah Ayah hantar…
Naik motor Ayah yang uzur itu..
(pada zaman tu lah…sekarang Ayah dah beli motor baru)

2 tahun foundation study…
4 tahun degree rasa sangat sekejap…
Masa belajar dulu hari-hari minta supaya cepat habis belajar..

Ni, bila dah kerja…
Rasa susah plak…
Rasa nak sambung belajar pulak balik…

Kalo belajar dapat duit gaji tiap-tiap bulan macam kerja makan gaji kan best?




I am growing older…
Growing up?
Tu yang susah tu…













[denial]

MAK...

Akak tak tahu kenapa,
Tapi malam tadi Akak mimpi pasal Mak..
Padahal Mak ada je kat bilik sebelah…

Mak,
Mak tahu tak?
Mase Along bagitau Mak ada sakit jantung,
Akak risau sangat..
Tapi akak tak nangis depan Mak..
Nanti Mak risau..
Lagipon Akak malu nak nangis depan Mak…

Akak takut sangat kalau Mak pergi sebelum Akak….
Akak takut kalau Akak tak sempat mintak maaf ngan Mak..
Macam Arwah Opah..
Arwah Opah pergi masa dalam tido..
Bila Mak nak kejut bangun solat Subuh,
Opah dah takde..
Akak takut sangat Mak…
Akak tak nak jadi camtu Mak..

Akak ingat lagi mase tu hari Angah bertunang…
Lauk-lauk ngan nasi-nasi yang dah masak untuk kenduri tunang Angah..
Alih-alih jadi hidangan kenduri arwah..

Mase itu Arwah Opah excited gile..
Sebab Angahlah cucu pertama Opah yang kahwin..
Opah siap masakkan wajik untuk kitorang…
Rupa-rupanya itulah kali terakhir Opah masak untuk kita…

Itulah kali pertama akak tengok mak sedih sangat..
Akak hanya boleh bayangkan macamana perasaan Mak mase tu,
Tak buleh bayang camne keadaan Akak kalo Mak ngan Ayah takde..

Dulu masa sekolah rendah kalau bergaduh dengan Angah dan Along..
Mak mesti bising…
Membebel….

Baru tiga anak mak ni…belum sepuluh lagi…
Asyik bergaduh je korang ni hari-hari…
Ni Mak hidup lagi…Mak ngan Ayah dah tak ada esok entah apalah nak jadi dengan korang ni…


Sekarang ni semua dah besar…
Along ngan pe’el nya…
Angah dengan ragamnya..
Masing-masing dah ada keluarga sendiri..

Akak?
Masih seperti dulu….
Belum ada banyak perubahan…
Cuma sekarang dah habis belajar…
Dah ada kerja….
Dah merasa gaji sendiri..
So its time for me to help Ayah ngan Mak….

Ayah dah pencen.
Mak pun patut tak payah kerja dah..
Tapi sebab Anak Mak yang ni gaji ciput, terpaksalah Mak kerja jugak…
Akak tau Mak susah kerja..
Lagi-lagilah dengan ragam orang-orang kat tempat kerja Mak tu…
Orang buat Mak macam-macam…
Tapi Mak buat dek jer ngan diaorang tuu…
Kalo Mak susah hati Mak tak bagitau pon kat kitorang…
Kalo Mak termenung tu Akak tau..
Mak risau sebenarnye….

Mak,
Walaupun Akak tak pernah cakap ni kat Mak..
Even though I never say this out loud…
I just want you to know Mak…







AKAK SAYANG SANGAT KAT MAK!

cam nyampah jer...

Tolonglah...





Jangan berlagak baik boleh tak?

















You are so not that saint ok?
puh-lease..












Kenapa aku jumpe orang yang macam ini?
Bajet Bagus
Cas Baik Diri Sendiri..
Tolongla...















ooh
by the way,
PMS dah tamat tempoh ye?
ini amarah yang sedikit..
bilamana aku terganggu dengan perihal orang yang banyak ragam, banyak-makan-garam-sampai-kena-darah-tinggi...












ooh yes,
ianya tiada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang masih mati..


TERIMA KASIH!

k e n a p a ???

why?????

arghhhh hhhhh





























































































I hate PMS!

Hey there,

It has been ages ago since I wrote my last entry.

I didn’t feel the urge to write, I guess…

Plus my works are constantly filled up my ‘me’ time…

And that leaves me less time to write in this blog…




***




Entri ini sudah lame berada dalam arkib blog ku ini.
Tapi tak tahu kenapa aku tak meng-‘post’-kannya jugak..






Oklah

Here goes nothing…






HOW TO LOOK GOOD NAKED



Last night I watched Oprah..

Quite interesting matter discussed.

“How To Look Good Naked”…

The title itself has strike me to continue watching in spite of all those movies at HBO…

“ Oprah is more interesting!”

Anyhow, the guest last night was Carson from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy…

Ring a bell?

Yup it’s the err Not Heterosexual or Homosexual or simply said gay ….



Gay or not, he managed to made me stick like glue to the TV.
(sheesh, like I never did before…duhh)

And yup, he also succeed in making me crying of feeling mere touched.

He made me realized (for a split second) that all the feelings I felt are exaggerated.

That I am actually, BEAUTIFUL, inside out.

Which, not once, did I ever felt….

Pathetic isn’t it?

* * *




Never had I ever feel beautiful or pretty.

Knowing that, I constantly and instantly kill any feelings that I had for the opposite sex.

I know my place…

I don’t deserve it…

He will never love me back.

I knew it all along…



It’s hard to feel positive when you are surrounded by negative energy by people around you.

Unfortunately for me, I live in a society where good looks are everything.
(Who doesn’t?)

* * *


a friend once told me… “Semua benda yang tuhan jadikan tu cantik, nafsu jer yang kata tak cantik”

Dan nafsu jugalah yang membuat aku rasa begini setiap hari, setiap masa setiap detik…

Apa erti cantik buatmu?


Aku sebenarnya seorang yang sangat ceria…
(Well, at least that is how I portray myself)

Outside, people know me as a very cheerful, happy-go-lucky-person.
What they didn’t know, is the fact that how easily I get hurt when people are joking to with me or to me…
Which I always conceal it with a smile or a luaugh….


Beautiful…Pretty…Hot…Sexy….Cute…Cun….Lawa….

Definitely not me!



P/s: Aku rasa aku ada Bipolar Disorder..

..........

Ya Allah,
Terasa jahilnya diri ini tika ini,
Kerna hanya mengingatkanMu ketika susah…
Acapkali melupakanMu tika senang,
Alpa meninggalkan suruhanMu tanpa alasan yang kukuh..

Ya Allah,
Ampunilah segala dosa-dosaku ini Ya Allah,
Banyak sungguh dugaan yang Kau berikan kepadaku…
Sesungguhnya Ya Allah,
Aku lemah…
Aku lemah..

Tatkala satu persatu masalah yang timbul..
Tiada lain yang ku pinta Ya Allah,
Hanya bahagia yang ku pinta Ya Allah,
Bahagia hidup keluargaku Ya Allah,
Ampuni segala dosa-dosa kedua ibubapaku,
Ampuni segala dosa kedua kakakku,
Ampuni segala dosa kedua abang iparku,
Bahagiakan hidup anak-anak buahku…
Sesungguhnya dunia mereka itu suci dari segala kekotoran duniawi..
Dan sesungguhnya mereka itu masih kecil
Tidak mengerti apa-apa tentang dunia ini

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku
Berkati segala amalan-amalan kami Ya Allah
Terimalah segala ibadat kami Ya Allah…
Sesungguhnya dugaanMu ini terasa sangat berat Ya Allah…
Hanya doa yang mampu ku panjatkan kepadamu Ya Allah..
Bawalah ketenangan kembali kedalam hatiku ini Ya Allah..

Bahagiakanlah seluruh hidup kami Ya Allah..
Bahagiakanlah seluruh hidup kami Ya Allah..
Bahagiakanlah seluruh hidup kami Ya Allah..

Aku tahu Ya Allah,
Tanpa malam, tiadalah siang,
Tanpa gelap, maka tiadalah cerah..
Bahagia itu hanya dapat dikecapi selepas berakhirnya derita
Aku juga memahami Ya Allah…
Walau sehebat mana pun taufan itu,
Walau selebat mana pun hujan itu,
Ia pasti akan reda……

Inspirasi buleh datang dari mana-mana














Mana-mana sumber yang ada…

















Macam seorang arkitek yang dapat idea nak design KLCC Tower bile dia nampak tin susu F&N yang disusun oleh mamak teh tarik yang membentuk menara…










Tiba-tiba aku dapat inspirasi petang semalam…


P/s: Dah tu agak-agak dari mana Gaudi dapat inspirasi nak design Sagrada Familia?Maybe dia dapat idea masa minum-minum kat kedai kopi kot…
café con leche, anyone?

Cerita Hujung Minggu

Last nite I can finally finish watching the ‘Elizabethtown’ movie. Starring Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom. Sebelum nie, ade tengok gak tapi tak sempat habis. Tengok separuh jalan DVD pon rosak, tak keluar gamba…me and my choices of pirated DVD! Padanla pun rosak, pirated stuff, low class, tak berkualiti! Haha

Dah la pinjam member punya, rosak plak tu (hey, as long as its cheap and do not directly affect the Malaysian movie industry, it is fine by me!) Tgk citer oversea jer yg pirated tau, citer2 melayu sumer tgk kat wayang tau! Especially cite Bro Afdlin Shauqi, tak pernah miss tengok semua citer dia kat wayang!

Anyhow, back to Elizabethtown, citer ni pasal seorang pembuat kasut, eh silap, pereka kasut, basketball shoes to be exact, Drew. Mamat Drew ni dah design satu kasut but turned out to be a total fiasco! And at the same time, his father passed away. So, citer ni pasal macam mana dia teruskan hidup lepas ayah dia mati. He was trying to commit suicide, but failed because the minute he tried to kill himself, his sister called, and told him to manage the funeral for his father at his father’s hometown, Elizabethtown, which is in Kentucky.

Awalan citer ni agak slow, but once you continue, you will find yourself hooked up to the whole story. The hilarious character of Drew and Claire, which I found very true and I felt, connected to the whole story.

People say that, one moment can change your whole life. I believe that. I truly do. (Although I don’t believe in love at first sight) Elizabethtown ni citer pasal tu lah. Mamat Drew ni dapat satu persepsi dan perspektif baru pasal hidup dan kehidupan. About purpose of life. He finally found his purpose of life. Being failed once doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world!

Sometimes, aku tertanya-tanya jugak… why am I here? What am I doing here? Why am I alive? Why is my life like this? I used to a pessimist. Then I turned to be an optimist. Then, pessimist again. Now? I think I’m optimist now. I don’t know why I was feeling deeply down, a few months back. I feel lonely…. I guess.

My friends are always occupied with something else, which leave no time for me to hang out with them. Plus, most of my friends are already engaged and getting married this year.

Me? I’m happy with what I am right now. I’ve always been single and I’m okay with that. (bilamana mak dan ayah asyik tanya bile nak kahwin je aku jadi tak okay, orang lain tanya aku tak kisah). So I’m living my life the way I should right now… live my life to the fullest! Stop think too much! Enjoy life when I’m young! gambatte!